I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
