I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
