You can't motorboat a personality
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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