I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just cropdusted the office
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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