New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
