At least make sure they are 18
Why
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
