Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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