do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Enjoy the penises
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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