I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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