My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
zippers are such a cool invention
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
