Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
