i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
