Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
