Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
