He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
