He is an equal opportunity slut.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize