we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I touched a dick in church today
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
