yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize