I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
