Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
