Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
