You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
