I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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