I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
