I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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