Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's shark week go big or go home
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
