Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
