bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
