The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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