so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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