please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
