love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
