suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize