Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize