btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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