She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
