I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
