I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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