ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
