Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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