Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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