I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
