then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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