He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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