i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
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