What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize