turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
