Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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