so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
