Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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