We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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