sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
