Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
