That's intense
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
its liver damage thursday
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
