Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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