i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
