Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
