either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
