He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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